That day a call changed everything of mine. When I got to know that now I have to move to another city for chasing my career, everything at that time was full of excitement. The butterflies in my stomach, happiness of living in my own terms, new journey seems to look so exciting and curiosity. But, all this was the moments of the happiness ‘Small Moment of Happiness’. I started missing my mother’s calling back to back for the evening tea, there was no one to wake me up by scolding and even that unnecessary arguments and fight with the siblings.
But this is the time which teaches you slowly and gradually and make you a perfect, confident and independent women.
This is the portion of the girls story which nobody talks about. In this journey, you are there to find a real you in a city where you came with a bag all alone.
This place and moments helped you building your own strength and prepared yourself to be perfect women.
Everything changed
The day I came out and settled to a new city, I actually stopped waiting for someone to make my things get fixed. I used to go through my stressful days, doing hardworks, going through a frustating day, skipping breakfast and lunches, feeling tired and sick and was drained emotionally. Getting video calls from home was bringing no comfort. The parents was so worried and tensed but don’t want to make them feel so. That day I decided to get shifted and be a girl with strength.
I made my heart strong and took a pledge of not crying more for the things I was missing. I made myself believe that I am here to chase my dreams and make my parents proud. I prepared a good meal with my favourite noodles, cleaned my room. It was believed by me that this small place is mine and I have to make my surrounding happy to be happy.
That day I was enlightened and happy that the small life which I have prepared for my self is not perfect but it is mine. I will live and make it beautiful.
Small Wins Became the Real Happiness
The people always thinks that the real happiness only occurs when you are giving a good big results. But the real you is hidden around your small winnings. It is the small happiness that has actually build you so strong.
You are building your own full meals without taking any help and calling at home.
You are managing your own expenses from your limited salary and making yourself grow.
You are navigating your own cities, trying to find out shortcuts to reach office, spending less and walking more.
You are now fixing all the things by your name without making the unnecessary payments.
These are not the big and grand victories but these are the things which has really shaped you and helped you to become independent.
A Home which is away from home
At the time when I moved in my pg room, it was very small and plain. Slowly and gradually I added fairy lights behind my mirror with the pictures of the family and a little indoor plant to make me feel that I was not alone in a room. I also find a tea stall which made me feel the tea taste just like my home. I used to watch the movies, doing netflix and chill, making my mind relaxed and sunday call with a family was not a routine but it became a ritual.
And with a passing time and efforts the city which was unfamilliar to me at one time is now became more of mine.
I was now able to interact and make friends who do not not just share their food with me but also their chasing dreams, breakouts, heartbreaks and midnight breakdowns. We were not the one to survive together but living and growing together.
Best Supporter is You
I have also gone through the days where I used to miss my family so hard, But at that time I made my mind believe to not depend on others. I stopped waiting for someone to come and fix me. My routine of taking the long walks, cooking my own bowl of comfort food, my self reminder of how far I have come became the best friends.
I was able to sit with my sorrows and make them fix instead of running from them. I have learned and made myself believe that I may fall apart and will wake up next morning with a good great smile.
That was the kind of strength I never saw inside me and waiting from a long time. But it was inside me, just living a life to bring that out.
For Every Girl : Starting the new journey
I must tell you this if you have packed your bags and made the decision to step out for chasing dreams, the lonliness and emptiness with come along with you. The fear inside will get into you. You will cry alone. You will doubt yourself. And it is normal, It’s Ok.
But one day you will be full of happiness, you will laugh a louder with your new friends. You will be able to cook something which will taste you good. You will able to travel along in a city and navigate the roads without paying the unnecessary amounts. You will become ready to advice others that was once needed by you. And that one day you will realise, You are working hard and building your own way.
You are not alone, you have a big supporter with you. You are not weak, You are more capable than you think.
You are building yourself slowly and gradually but beautifully.
UnfilteredMe
This is the real me. Not always strong, not perfect everytime. But the Real me.
I am still going through the days where I am missing my home, wanting to give up.
But in all these tough times, I try to find hope and piece for my self.
I have learned with this phase that strength and selfmotivation speaks out loud.
So for every girls who are living far from their home, entered to chase for their dreams, wiping out the tears alone and learning to stay strong.
We are not growing,
we are becoming a gold.